Thus far things are going well. I've got three things on my plate...working the diet, finding myself and dealing with the dating scene, and lastly working on my money issues.
Starting with money, getting tax money was very helpful. I've let things go a bit haywire in the last week or so. Biggest problem for me is when I don't document...when I don't write it down and when I don't put my debit card away...ARRRGH...I know it and I slipped up. So I am recommitted to doing that. A few steps forward and a few steps backwards. Its always a journey! But I'm seeing the dumb patterns which is good and of course is the goal. Mindfulness...moment by moment and day by day! So I am back to basics: cash only and putting the debit card away. The good news is that I haven't had an overdraft fee in awhile...and I want to keep it that way! I'm still unsure why this is a challenge to me but I'm going to continue to work here to figure out why there are these patterns in my life. So my next money blog will work on that.
Diet...well honestly that's been a smashing success. I am eating healthy...I have ups and downs...some days better than others but overall I continue to lose weight. I even made it through my birthday week...cake...alcohol...and STILL lost weight! Because I am mindful and watching what I eat and when I write down what I eat...DOCUMENTATION THEME...I am able to judge and adjust accordingly. 24 pounds thus far...another 16 to go would put me around 176...if I can lose another 10 after that, even better but I'd be happy at 176 really.
And the last item...finding me...dating...I really have no desire to date. I'm sort of surprised. I thought I would but I really don't and I'm aok with that. As I work out the stuff in my life...money issues, weight issues...unraveling why I struggle with those things, it is so much easier to just be at peace with me. I feel completely confident I will find someone in my future but I can't do it if I am not at peace with me and work out this shit I struggle with. Here's observation #1...when I struggle with feeling overwhelming...when I struggle with money...when I struggle with the diet...it has everything to do with documenting stuff. I have to write things down. Is it because I'm just getting so damn old...no...I think its because I have an optimistic way of recalling things. Perhaps because I think I am stronger, better or smarter than I really am...perhaps because I am human like everyone else and I simply am prone to hindsight bias or overestimation. I teach this stuff and I know all of this but sometimes its hard to admit you are prone to the same biases. So time to document...time to write things down. The hope is I can be a good role model for Margaret who ABSOLUTELY needs to write everything down.
So learning point #1...write it down.
As for the dating thing...almost two months since the break up...and I know it was the right choice and I know I'm gonna be OK.
Next entry will review how well the documentation thing is going...sometimes its hard to make so many changes but I really have to keep focused and overcome intertia...one day at a time!
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